If I’m Known by How I Love

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“If I covet any place on earth but the dusts at the foot of the Cross, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.”

Amy Carmichael

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Love is not what we think it is.

I recently finished reading through 1 Corinthians and was struck by the intense theme of love woven throughout the entire letter. I had read the passages before, but it was my first time seeing the connection of Paul’s constant appeal to the body of Christ: love more deeply, love more sincerely, love more earnestly…love always.

The whole book echoes the cry: love each other! And it has made me wonder, do I love?

So often I consider the fruits of the Spirit and think to myself, “oh…being patient is hard, being joyful is hard, but love? At least I can love!” Love is the easy one.

I think the reason we view it lightly is because we hear it talked about in flimsy, superficial ways. We see it written on the window of a coffee shop: choose love & kindness. We see it paraded across social media and school projects: the world needs more love.

The issue is that, in the western world, tend to view love more as kindness than service.

But that’s not love. Love is richer. It is steadfast and selfless. It is sometimes grimy and uncomfortable and unpleasant. Love is choosing to make oneself a servant to Christ and others. It is the tears and blood and dusts of Calvary for the crown and gold of Heaven.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things”

– 1 Corinthians 13:7

So, to be better known by how I love, I have compiled a short list of ways I am working on making my love look more like God’s love. Maybe you can try some of them too?

If I’m Known By How I Love, I Will Be Known by Humility

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful”

– 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

Biblical love is selfless. How could it not be? Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13).

Sometimes the depth and beauty of that verse causes me to forget its practicality. The sacrificial love of Jesus doesn’t just apply to martyrdom or persecution – it applies to the simple, quick choices that make up our day. I think, in many ways, “laying down our life for our friends” is just choosing humility enough to put others before ourselves.

For example, if I’m known by how I love, I’ll be known for putting aside my school when a friend’s soul needs tended to. Because love is patient; it is unhurried. It puts others first.

If I’m known by how I love, I’ll be known for dropping arguments that aren’t of eternal significance and are hurting relationships. Because love is not arrogant or rude; it is kind. It puts others first.

My little sister is currently banging on drums in the room next door (which is making it very hard to concentrate). My inclination is to run over and tell her, “please stop!” But humble love is not irritable or resentful (1 Cor 13:5). So, my conviction is to quiet my soul and focus on my efforts while I wait for her musical delight to pass.

I cannot say I would lay down my life for my friends if I can’t even bear a slight annoyance from my sister or surrendering a disagreement over trivial matters.

I need to be humble if I want to be known by how I love.

If I’m Known by How I Love, I Will Be Known for Critical Thinking not Cynical Judgments

[Love] does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.”

– 1 Corinthians 13:6

There is a sick part of my critically-inclined mind that absolutely loves finding heresies in sermons or logical holes in peoples’ thinking.

I say a “sick” part of my mind because I shouldn’t love to find the issues. Nor should I delight in tearing apart lies from the truth. I should, rather, be grieving the fact that there is any lie to be found at all.

I’m not saying that false teaching shouldn’t be confronted. Far from it! But what good is it to confront something only for the joy of having an upper-hand in the truth? That is not love. That is rejoicing with wrongdoing. It is taking delight in the holes when we should be grieving the lack of truth and goodness that was intended to fill them.

If I’m known by how I love, I will be known for being critical without being cynical.

If I’m Known By How I Love, I Will Be Known For Saying I’m Sorry

Let all that you do be done in love.”

– 1 Corinthians 16:14

God commands that all I do be done in love. But it won’t be. I’m deeply flawed and prone to grieve the Holy Spirit.

So, I need to be known for saying I’m sorry.

Not only do I need to apologize more frequently, but I need to apologize more earnestly. I need to be honest, upfront, and authentic. Naming the sin and asking forgiveness: “hey…I was wrong and I’m sorry. It wasn’t Christ-like of me. Will you forgive me?”

It’s a rather vulnerable, humbling thing and I’m still learning it. It is especially frustrating to learn when you have a tendency to sin every day (as most sinners do). Just this week, I had to ask every single member of my family to forgive me for something said or done.

But if I’m known by how I love, I’ll be known for saying I’m sorry too.

If I’m Known by How I Love, I Will Aim to Know the One Who Loves Me

We love because He first loved us.”

– 1 John 4:19

How do I learn this love – which is clearly separate from our world’s standards of love – unless I first know the God who displays this very love upon my own soul?

We love because He first loved us.

In all the ways we fall short, He stands higher. If we want to know biblical love…we have to know the God who is that Love.

I don’t think I’ll ever reach the full standard of love – on this earth, at least. But I can love better. I can search Him out more earnestly. I can aim to know the love of the one who first taught it to my heart.

So, to be known by how I love, I will aim to know the one Who loves me.

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