Lord, Help Me Love Anyway

If I covet any place on earth but the dust at the foot of the Cross, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

–If: What Do I Know of Calvary Love? by Amy Carmichael

About a month ago I started discipling a precious middle schooler who reminds me a lot of myself when I was her age. She is so passionate and full of perspective and ideas, and so easily exasperated by the crazy world around her (aren’t we all?). One of the most confusing and chaotic parts of middle school is often friendships and in our last meeting she brought up the frustration of feeling like her friendships were falling apart.

When I asked her what she thought God wanted her to do in the situation she quickly responded with, “keep trying to be a good friend.”

I then asked what a “good friend” was, in her opinion. She thought about it for a moment and said, “someone who loves.”

Finally, I asked, “so, when your friends are being dramatic and confusing…when they aren’t considering your perspective or being the most understanding…when they are frustrating and discouraging…what do you think you need to do?”

She just gave me a lovely little smile and said, “love anyway.”

How powerful. As I ponder her beautiful response I cannot help but think of Amy Carmichael’s book If: What Do I Know of Calvary Love? Oh, how precious little I know. What small and selfish lenses of love I am prone to see through!

I pray that He would teach me to love the way He does. Just as He sees my brokenness, my doubts, my messes…and loves anyway. Just as He knows I’ll be faithless a thousand times and more…and loves anyway.

Lord, help me love anyway.

Because that is Calvary love.

When I Am Misunderstood…Help Me Love Anyway

As an overseas missionary I often struggle with the reality that I’m not understood. Not only am I misunderstood, but I don’t always understand others. I’m a chaotic mix of cultures that, considering the confusing mayhem of it all, very well could have been thrown together by a careless preschooler.

But they weren’t.

It was God’s plan for my life. And it’s not my responsibility to make sure everyone understands. As much as I would love for them to, and as hard as I try to explain it all, no one will truly understand unless they’ve been through the exact same thing.

And that’s okay.

A dear friend and I were recently talking about the truth that we are not called to be understood but to obey. We should certainly keep trying to express our perspectives and provide little glimpses of our experiences, when appropriate and possible. But our job is simply to obey. And what did Jesus tell us to do?

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” – John 13:34-35

When people don’t understand and I am weary of trying to explain what words cannot tell…Lord, help me love anyway.

When All I See is Bitterness…Help Me Love Anyway

I have several dear friends who are currently struggling with a lot of anger. I am ashamed to admit that sometimes I am not as patient and gracious with their pain as I should be. In fact, there have been several times in recent weeks where I have grown exasperated. Because I know the bitterness is only tearing them apart and want so dearly for them to see that they can find peace in Jesus. But I can’t truly show them that if I’m not taking the time to care for them in selfless…and patient…love.

It’s not my job to convince others to forgive.

It’s not my responsibility to heal and mend what’s broken.

I am simply called to see the hurt and resentment…and choose to respond with love.

When all I see is bitterness…Lord, help me love anyway.

When I Face Those Who Hate Me…Help Me Love Anyway

Whether you want to believe it or not, there will always be someone in the world who hates you. Everyone is disliked by someone. Even as I write this, I can think of a few people who greatly dislike me. And that’s okay.

Jesus didn’t call me to be loved by everyone in the world! In fact, Jesus said, “If the world hates you, know that it has hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” – John 15:18-19.

Following Jesus means we will face adversity…we should expect it, anticipate it, and, perhaps, even be eager for it. Because “you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.” – James 1:3.

You and I will face those who hate us. In fact, I pray the world does hate me if it means He is my heart’s deepest desire. Because I can think of nothing more worth my life than Jesus. So, let the world hate…and let us respond in humility and grace. Because we are no longer of the world.

When I face those who hate me…Lord, help me love anyway.

When I Have Every Earthly Right to Hate…Help Me Love Anyway

In this dark and weary world, we ourselves will be tempted to hate. And, often, we would have every earthly right to hate. But note, I said earthly. And we are no longer of this earth, but of a greater kingdom!

John 13:2-5 says, “During supper, when the devil had already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, to betray Him, Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was going back to God, rose from supper. He laid aside His outer garments, and taking a towel, tied it around His waist. Then He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around Him.”

Did you catch that? Jesus, knowing Judas was going to betray Him later that same night…washed his feet.

Now, that is not the main point of that passage, but it is a key characteristic of Jesus to understand! His heart overflowed with love…even when He had every earthly right to hate.

I want the same to be true of my life.

So when I hear of shooters killing little kids who had so much life ahead of them, when I hear of those who are mistreating the vulnerable, when I hear of wicked and corrupt governments, I hope I hate the brokenness of the world. But I pray I still choose to love…because I know my sins are great as well and I am no more worthy of His love than they.

When I have every earthly right to hate…Lord, help me love anyway.

When I’m Tired, Stressed, Annoyed, and Have Every Reason to Give Less than My Best…Help Me Love Anyway

Between work, school, family, and friends, there are plenty of opportunities for impatience and rude behavior throughout the day. I know, personally, I am wonderfully talented at finding excuses to give less than my best. I tell myself it’s okay to not be as kind one day because I’m feeling sick. Or that it’s not a big deal if I don’t give the kids at work my full attention and enthusiasm because the week was chaotic and confusing.

But excuses are excuses.

And we have no real excuse to not “love anyway.” Because as 1 Corinthians 13:8 says, “love never ends.” No matter what…love never fails.

So, when I’m tired, stressed, annoyed, and have every reason to give less than my best…Lord, help me love anyway.

Because I know He sees my ignorance, my bitterness, my mistakes, my hate, my messes…and loves anyway.

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” – 1 Corinthians 13:1-7.