Choosing to be Thankful for Spiritual Growing Pains

Have you ever had a day or week where it feels like you can’t do anything right? I certainly have. In fact, the past couple have weeks have been full of my feeling like, no matter how hard I try, I keep making the same old mistakes over and over again. Sometimes I feel like a little kid going through growing pains all over again.

And ya know what?

It doesn’t feel good.

But that’s understandable, right? Of course, it doesn’t feel good! Nobody wants to keep falling down, getting stuck in the mud, and dirtying their clothes right after washing them from the last fall. It starts to feel like a cycle of standing, falling, cleaning, standing, falling, cleaning, repeat.

As the Holy Spirit has been continually convicting my heart, I have been reminded of this simple truth: I am always and forever a work in progress.

And that’s a beautiful thing.

I’m Okay with Being Clay

The other day, I sat down to fill out a form for a program my youth pastor runs for teens wanting to go deeper in their faith and one of the questions was “what is something God is teaching you?” I paused for a moment, thinking over the past few weeks and all of the bitterness and frustration I had harbored in my heart whenever failing to be as loving or humble or graceful as I hoped to be. Smiling, I was reminded of the moment in my testimony where I was falling to pieces, in a mess of my own creation, and in the middle of the storm heard a still, small voice whispering, “you’re not okay…and it’s okay. You are Mine, and I am the same yesterday, today, and forever.”

God doesn’t need me to be perfect to use me for His glory. Growing always comes with certain pains and it is a never-ending process here on earth. My responsibility, as a Christian, is to continually look back to Him – no matter how many times I fall. I will never be perfect…but I serve the God Who is. And He will use a willing and ready heart.

I cannot wait until I am flawless to start serving Him because 1) I will always be flawed, and 2) that is putting God in a box and telling Him that He cannot bring beauty from brokenness.

He has already done such before and He will do it again. The Artist of the Skies can make a masterpiece even out of the messes we find ourselves in.

And for that very reason, I can say, with certainty, that I am okay with being clay.

If it Takes Fire to Refine Me, Let Me Walk Through Fire

A dear friend recently told me, “I’d say I’m sorry you still struggle at times (which I am) but at the same time…I can see how much your struggles have shaped you & drawn you closer to God.”

I do not mention that to boast in myself; certainly, any good in me is yet not I but Christ in me. However, it is in the stories of deepest shadows that 2 Corinthians 12:9 takes on its full meaning. Because it is impossible for humanity to pull ourselves out of such weakness, to bring beauty from such brokenness. Some of the dearest and most valuable moments are those that make us whisper “only God…”

Only God could give that somebody a reason to smile.

And only God could teach that heart to love again.

And only God could heal that wounded, hurting soul.

Only God.

If it takes our facing the darkest storm to most glorify His name…by all means, let us do it.

Please understand, I do not mean that we should be glorifying our sin. I mean that we should be praising Him through the discomfort of conviction. See, sin is always confronted. The Holy Spirit does a masterful job of making us feel uncomfortable when we have sinned against God.

In John 16 Jesus is preparing His disciples for when He is gone and He mentions the Helper (being the Holy Spirit). In verse 8, He tells them “And when he [the Holy Spirit] comes, he will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment…”

Conviction is uncomfortable. It is that nagging feeling in your heart when you know you have done something wrong and cannot turn back time to make a better choice. It is knowing, without a doubt, that you were wrong.

And that doesn’t feel good.

But friend…growing isn’t always supposed to feel good.

It simply is good.

Because, if He is our heart’s dearest desire, God is the one guiding our spiritual growth. And all His ways are good.

If it takes fire to refine me, let me walk through fire.

Learning to Be Thankful for the Growing Pains

I’m learning, slowly, I admit, to be thankful for the growing pains. I’m learning to appreciate the time and effort and tears that go into refining my heart and seeking heavenly treasures. Because no matter how frustrated I get with the discomfort that comes with conviction…that is my signal that something needs to change.

The growing pains don’t hurt any less than they did before…I’m simply being reminded of their meaning, their value, and their role in my faith. Without those growing pains I wouldn’t truly be able to cherish the perfection of my Savior and the beauty He is bringing from my brokenness.

Without those growing pains, my pride would become my idol. Because without those growing pains…I would be blind to my own human filth.

So, I’m here to ask you, as my brothers and sisters in Christ, are you thankful for the growing pains?

I am realizing that I haven’t always been as thankful for them as I should be. It is a learning process and God is working on my heart as I go. But, if you are willing, would you join me in thanking Him for the growing pains?

Would you join me…in asking Him for more?

Because, friend, as uncomfortable and unpleasant as they sometimes are…those growing pains are what humble my name, while glorifying His.